Treatise on the downfall of Saturday morning cartoons

Captain Planet was the harbinger of the downfall of the cartoon industry (generally speaking). This is a bold statement that I know will be hard to stomach for some (especially you pansies who actually liked the wretched show). Since the inception of the show Captain Planet, hence forth refered to as CP, there has been a steady decline (or maybe a flying leap off a cliff) in the quality, subject matter, and ideals of the cartoons that have been produced.
Let us first start by examining the forerunners to CP and how they differed from this new species of "children's entertainment." Looney Toons / Merry Melodies was the standard for cartoons. It was complete with all the elements of a good cartoon: violence centered around falling anvils, violence centered around one character with a shotgun (or in one case a spear and a funny hat) trying to kill another character, voluptuous robot female bunnies that happened to contain bombs, rockets: lots of rockets (specifically missiles, rocket-powered cars, and rocket-powered roller skates), carnivores, horny skunks, cursing southern gentlemen with bad tempers, and a giant chicken (There is hope for modern cartoons such as Family Guy who maintain such elements at least on a periodic basis) . The Eighties saw the rise of such cartoon gems as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Transformers, and G.I. Joe. Again these had a common thread: glorified violence to beat the bad guys (not to save the freakin' planet for evil corporations). The Autobots would have been scrap-metal without the Decepticons. He-man would just be another guy with a bad haircut and a fur loin-clothe without Skeletor. Without the Foot and Shredder the Turtles would just be giant mutated freaks, and I'm not sure what G.I. Joe would have been without Cobra. And another thing. What were the means for defeating the bad guys? Not some multicolored fruit cake created from five beams of light, but guns and swords and crap. When did "heart" and "water" and "earth" become weapons (I mean I guess you could make some mud and fling it at the enemy with a lot of "feeling")? What the heck! Ideals: Knowing is half the battle. Transformers taught kids valuable lessons (none of which I can recall right now but I know they did). And what did CP teach kids? We shall see.
Now to take on CP. The show introduced kids to several things. Multiculturalism. Like five teenager from different parts of the world (who by the way all just happen to know English) are going to get together to do anything. CP also demonized capitalism, industry, and human progress. Though now that we are examining it, we must note that it was selective. Sure they would go after the evil corporation dumping toxic waste into the ocean, but what about Detroit. It's a city whose main industry was creating pollution producing, natural resource consuming, noisy contraptions. Let's see CP take on the Ford Motor Co. So we have a show teaching kids to be ethically inconsistent. What else did CP teach kids? Uh... Don't Pollute. That was it. Same thing every show. At least G.I. Joe taught us not to spray paint our bikes inside or to play hide and seek in refrigerators (although that might have been Hulk Hogan or Fat Albert anyway...) CP with it's multicultural, weaponless, reality-based (for they tried to present reality-based situations of pollution and such) propaganda blazed the trail for plague that shall be dubbed the Black Saturday.
We have been abandoned. Saturday mornings are no longer entertaining, but they are now arduous and boring. Who wants to watch Jackie Chan (for the three months he had a cartoon) jump around a lot but never actually fight anyone (Does anyone ever actually get hurt anymore)? Having briefly mentioned the reality aspect of CP, the subject and its effect must be expanded upon. CP's original idea of reality -based situations has tainted Saturday mornings. Now technically some shows should not be discussed because they are not cartoons, but that is the point. Four Words: Mighty Morphine Power Rangers. It's not a cartoon. It should not be allowed on Saturday Morning T.V. Horrid effects, awful acting, choreographed dancing that is supposed to pass for fighting (Are they even making contact)! Give me a break. How about the teletubies? Can you say homosexual? And it's all CP's fault.
There is hope. Every so often cartoons with substance (or at least enough adult humor to make up for the lack of it) come around. Animanics (though it never was a Saturday morning cartoon oh yeah and RELEASE THE DVD's PLEASE!), Family Guy, Futurama (R.I.P.), and The Simpsons. Though now that these have been brought to light it must be noted that there may be no hope for Saurday Morning cartoons as none of these were. So I guess the best ending for this is: R.I.P. Saturday Morning cartoons, Hello Sunday Night!
~DVM